All talk and no walk, Mark's plan to win the Nobel Prize

Will get you the Nobel Peace prize.

I'm going to officially announce my candidacy for the 2010 Nobel Peace prize.

I plan to do the following:

1. Close down Alcatraz and free the prisoners who have been unfairly oppressed.

2. Announce a cash for Mopeds program. It is unfair to those who drove drunk to be riding
around on scooters that only go 25MPH. For each scooter that goes 25mph or slower, we will
give a free moped and 8,000 cash.

3. I plan to socialize society. I will have cliques of equal parts geeks, jocks, cheerleaders, popular
kids, freaks, weirdos, and at least one goth who wears makeup and cuts themselves.

4. I will start a generic catch phrase, "You dad gum right."

5. I will launch a 125,333 trillion dollar "stimulus package." However, it won't affect the common person, or those who really need some cash. However, once the bill arrives, I'll let you help pay it back.

6. When I'm supposed to be doing something, I am going to be heavily campaigning to bring the 2020 Olympics to Wilkesboro, NC.

7. I am going to realize the irony of calling Kanye West a "jackass."

This year, I plan to be all talk. Don't worry about my 6 points, (well, maybe 5. That "stimulus package" has to be paid back somehow).

In the meantime, I'm going to clear some room on my shelf for my prize.