Run. Johnson. Run.

After intense password resetting procedures, I have finally regained access to my blog. Now I pledge to update this blog at least once an every time I feel like it.

Today's subject will be commentary about my new found hobby of walk/jog/run (with the emphasis on walk, in hopes that the jog/run come in abundance later on).

As I have told people before, it is quite addicting. The outside air, the music playing through my ear buds, the almost euphoric feeling afterward of literally going the extra mile (or two or three), the feeling during the jogging part when I reach the point where I have tuned out everything except for my eyes and feet, and the feeling of accomplishment. It's so good it even leads me to writing run-on fragments.

(for all those flatulence joke enthusiasts, there's one coming up soon. For those who are offended, or have no time for such low-brow humor, my condolences).


But anyway, I try to mix things up a bit by going to different places, going out at different times, etc. while being in the company of "them." Who are "them?" "Them" is a group made up of people who are annoying, entertaining, socially unacceptable, or just funny to write about. The following is a list of the most common "them" I encounter at the track or trail.

1. The "try once and never do it again" jogger. -One who gets on a sudden fitness kick and quits after realizing it actually requires work. Example: I was out on the local walking track and saw some pot bellied gentleman pull up on a moped. He proceeded to peel off his shirt, throw it on the ground and start running. After about 1/32nd of a mile, he was in a hacking, wheezing fit. I don't think he even made it around the 1-mile track all the way.

2. The "choreographed routine walkers." - They are the ones who have this peculiar way they walk. These are usually women. When they walk, they have their elbows parallel to the ground, while bent at a 90 degree angle with their hands facing forward. When they walk, they tend to do sort of a hip-swivel thing. They usually walk with partners and make one-syllable words into two-syllable words (i.e. - there = they-ure, well = way-ull). Due to a habit of minding my own business and having ear buds in, I don't hear their conversation, but am prone to believing that they are gossiping about someone or something.

3. The "Bill Dautreve" - This is just one person. He's a dude at a trail that I walk on who tries to pick up women. He'll walk really slow and when he sees a woman walking or jogging along, he'll walk with her and try to start a conversation. It beats all I've ever seen (in an outside walking environment anyway). The women who are running, he tends to avoid.

4. The "smugs" - These are the ones who go to their local sporting goods store and spend way too much money on their hobby. They are the ones who look at us beginners with contempt as we walk on their tracks or trails. I mostly encounter these people when I'm at intermediate trails. I enjoy encountering them mainly because before I hit one of those trails, I consume a Clif bar which gives me the incredible ability to pass gas on command, which I like to use in the company of "smugs." Before you condemn me for such an action, I give them the benefit of the doubt and give them a nod before passing. If the nod is returned, they are safe. If the nod is met by a turn up of the nose, they face my immature wrath.

5. The "inconsiderate slobs" - These are the ones who walk their dogs while smoking cigarettes. They also let their dogs poop on the trail which is really annoying. I ignore them, but secretly complain about them in blogs.

These people make my time on the walking path more interesting, and I actually appreciate them (save the slobs). But with the weather getting cold, I don't see too many of "them." Either way, this walk/jog/run hobby is starting to look like a gateway to a membership to the Y